Jiggery-Pokery, Welcome to Wokery

artwork: Brett Hudson Art

Just a random thought wondering if I started hanging with a progressive/regressive* crowd and started self-identifying as a Victa lawn mower.

"Oh, isn't Victa-slash-Stomp special?"

"Start me up.", I would reply.

But alas, it wouldn't be in my best interest to continue with the façade.

For example, what if one of my newly woke acquaintances picked me up a 1.25 litre bottle of motor oil for lunch and I had to respectfully decline? Cancel culture will rear its ugly head and on to the scrap heap I shall be ultimately tossed.

This could be particularly problematic if I've already had the opportunity for surgical procedures to have blades installed or a handle bolted to my back.

I shall be smeared with the accusation of appropriating the characteristics of something I am not. I shall be the Australian Rachel Dolezal and, if I'm being honest, that isn't a prospect I really look forward to.

Neo-Marxist wannabes in their Mum's basement cheering on gleefully as the Victa f/k/a Stomp's plug loses it spark and gets crushed to cyber dust with nary a visitor to console the lawn mower identifier as they stroke their last stroke. 

No, that would not be nice at all.

*depending on your viewpoint